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<--Saturday, Jul. 26, 2008 11:48 pm-->
ok crap, i'm here again. i wonder whoever does read this anymore.ever since i came out of army, i've been asking myself - am i a better person than before? i really hate to agree with all the other guys that army's just a mindless waste of time, i believe it really changed me. but looking at the past month, my strengths are still my strengths, and my weaknesses are still my weaknesses. is there really any change in me?
this must be one of the emo times when i start blabbing in this white box. and i'll slowly start to pity and feel sorry for myself for no particular reason. as in seriously, what's the point of celebrating my birthday? these sort of events are so self-centered. they're designed to make yourself feel good only. i can laugh and have fun during the event, but when it's done, there's this stupid empty feeling that doesnt go away. it hasnt even happened yet but i'm feeling it already.
the recent OBS proved the diagnosis again. i'm just one of those hit-and-run-make-no-impact-on-your-life sort of friend. gah i think i'm feeling really lousy now. what does it really mean to be a friend? i don't get it. i'm not your greatest conversationist/entertainer/small-talker, but i'm loyal, honest and steadfast. is that not more important than having fun?
i felt that over the past month, i've only made one real friend. but that's infinite times better than everything else. i feel as though i don't know anybody at all. haha this entry is really psychotic.
must be the influence of 20th century music.
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<--Tuesday, Nov. 27, 2007 7:00 am-->
hoho i'm in dubai now. first time in mid east. airport's like refugee camp. watched cinderella on e plane haha. feel like a kid again. so waiting for plane to cairo. bye!
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<--Sunday, Oct. 28, 2007 3:09 pm-->
there's a small portion of me very unwilling to end my army life even though the day that all boys.. i mean, men, (don't they say that we turn into men after army?) dream of every night, is right round the corner. freedom can, much easier than though of, become a total waste of time, or to put a kinder shade to it: un-productive. i'm very afraid the post-ord syndrome of waking up and not knowing what to do will hit me bad. as a result, i've planned a comprehensive list of things to do, with different people, over the next 3/4 year or so. and it is terribly, so impossibly difficult to find anyone who has the aspirations or hobbies as myself.for starters, i'll be going to israel/jordan/egypt in about a month's time. to be honest i'm freaking out about going there, not because of any on-going war whatsoever (i'm specially trained for this duh...) but more of there's so much history behind the middle east that i don't know or am un-sure of. i'm afraid of going to this biblical/historical site and not being able to appreciate, fully, the significance of it having travelled so far and paid through my nose for it.
which brings me to the rant of the idea of having a holiday. it'll be impossible for me to go with anyone who has the idea of eat,drink,shop and party for a holiday. it simply does not make sense to me, they might as well go zouk every night. i think it links to that we, singaporeans in general, are terribly spoilt by the fact that we're a young nation and have hardly any long-lasting history behind it.
just bidded for a road frame. if that goes through, you'll probably see me cycling most mornings all over singapore. my current bike's too big for me, has been giving me neck aches thus the decision to change.
why i'm unwilling to discuss anything about music is because it brings back too many (pardon me) haunting memories of the past. but if i'm back i'll be back. and in the most interesting of all avenues too!
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<--Tuesday, Jul. 10, 2007 6:21 pm-->
i think i seriously lost it. heard of the term bonked? and reading about simon rattle's life is such inspiration, yet the utter-worst despair tags along knowing that i might never ever study music. maybe i should stop listening to beethoven and brahms and really bring on all the mahler and 20th century stuff in the world.
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<--Wednesday, Jul. 04, 2007 6:23 pm-->
i'm quite sad. now my diet is restricted to rabbit food and oakley's m-frames are so ex!!! anyway, julia fischer has a sound to die for. just got her tchaikovksy cd.
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<--Thursday, Jun. 28, 2007 7:37 pm-->
today, went shopping for bike accessories.this is my bike which i got early may:
its a Diamondback Racer, model's Podium 1 '07. it has a Podium 1 7005 Aluminum Frame w/Custom Butted Main Frame, Podium Carbon Fork, Shimano Sora 8-spd STI Shifter / Brake Levers, Tiagra Rear Derailleur, FSA RPM Triple Crankset w/ 52/42/30t rings, DBR 3D Race Stem & Michelin Dynamic 700x23c Tires. weight's around 9kg plus plus. so far tested it in oakely duathlon and took 43 minutes for 20km. max speed so far 43.9km/h. defintely not the high end road bike but good enough for an entry level rider like me.
then today went to chaper2cycle along amk ave 10 to get helmet. its an LAS kripton with 20-ventilation wefts to air my head, made of polystyrene and has an adjustable back rest that fits snugly to the back of my head. MET and Lazer were too wide for me so didnt get those. weighs only 260g, just tested it and doesnt feel like theres something on my head, unlike those stupid green helmets... this silver-white kripton matches my bike, so yeah.
and got a cateye micro wireless cyclo-computer. the feature that attracted me most was its backlight, perfect for night cycling. and of course it has all the other stuff most computers have, like current speed, max speed, ave speed, distance, odometer, clock, time taken. i hope its calibrated correctly though, if not my readings so far'll be all wrong.
and a cyclist isnt a cyclist without those flashy jerseys. got a pearl izumi top, which means clear water or something like that in jap. super ex, but poser enough and has been given really good reviews.
all in all around 2 months worth of pay gone (haha, but i dont just earn the 'normal' pay..) but worth every cent. after all, its an investment. and i seriously dont know why i'm talking about all these bike stuff when i should really be running and running and running...
